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Continued from Carte du Jour #193: Last Days of Winter, at an undisclosed location in the Sierra Nevadas...
-- diary entry from the Green Man --
I write this now, missing my companion. She is hung next to me, hollow and lifeless, cooling in the winter air. I miss her warmth but as much as I miss her wonderful and bright smile, I am also savoring my current state of melancholy. It is as delicious as the meat I am about to consume. I don't know if she ever realized how much she meant to me and that is the tragedy of being the monster I am. When one steps out onto the balcony with the company of a magical moon and the serene quiet state of the here and now, it is impossible to return indoors to the cacophony of clinking champagne glasses and insipid party chatter.
She fought hard, and fought well, so well that... no, I won't say that she almost had the better of me, but enough to give me a spring in my step and a primal blood in my heart. She was proficient as a wrestler and mixed-martial arts and had counter-parried my moves quite capably for a time. She had quite an impressive kick, as even now I am still feeling the dull throb of one of her blows on the side of my head, but in the end, when I brought her down and locked my legs around her neck until she passed out, it was all over. Our wrestle-play prior gave me a good measure of her strength and skill, and I must say, she is worthy, and her impressive muscles are indeed robust and nutrient filled and would provide a good feast in the coming days.
In the end, it took almost forty minutes to take her down, so my plans for an evening meal is dashed. After the bleeding and dressing, along with the campfire I needed to make, it is already sunset so I've decided to sleep tonight and make my first meal tomorrow at breakfast. It will be a hidden blessing to let the hunger grow.
It is curious what one can discover about one's body after pushing one's self to the limit as I did tonight. The primal energetic burst for the fight superseded my dearth of nutrition. It was difficult during the first few days of my fast, two, to be exact. I had not been interested in sharing with her the packed lunch of ham sandwich she had brought. Technically, I didn't lie to her when I said I was a vegan. It wasn't a way for me to get into her good graces as do most men do to the modern women of this age as I did with some of the others. She was unlike most others, she ate meat like a warrior, nourishing her body for the fight and the challenge of sports. It was in her blood too, a family of meat-eaters, of Thanksgiving Turkey and Christmas hog cookouts. But alas, for me there is only one kind of flesh worthy and sacred enough for my bloodline. No flesh of the planet's other beings deserve my wrath for I am their protector. I will not submit my tongue the indignity of touching the flesh of one killed through vacant mechanical procedures for as long as I exist. These creatures deserve a better fate as do I deserve a better source of food. But a creature subdued through a hunt... the Flesh of Eve, now that is something... indescribable.
Excuse me while I take a pause for a moment, as I admire the prize of my quarry.
-- moments later --Before I was distracted... I was remarking about my fast and the burst of energy during the hunt of my hairless doe. It taught me that my body, especially one who's Blood of Asterion runs in my veins, revealed the puzzling nature, almost transcendental of a quality that I haven't yet discovered within myself. The hardened survival instinct my parents, my ancestors of generations past to the times of the Younger Dryas, did they live, kill, and ate like how I did now?
What the hunters lacked, at least those outside the society, is a second sensation, other than just hunger, but the sexual nature of conquering the hunt. They aren't able to experience the joy of undressing... and then dressing the sensual carcass, seeing her proud, naked trembling flesh exposed, and looking so lush and bountiful, it is quite a feeling. The combination of both senses released in an ecstasy and in the privacy of the moment, miles away from the nearest soul. It's an intimate feeling actually. To peel her layers one by one, and finally, the final undergarment, revealing her full self to me, in her most naked and revealing form. Not to say I have not seen her nude before, but this... this is different. This is the after... the post-realization of her understanding her role in this lifetime, and also knowing who I a really am and what my true motives are for her.Seeing her glisten in sweat, and the steam rising from her blood-pumped body was something to behold. Her muscles were taut and spent. She unconscious and ready and my thoughts already went to how I shall prepare each portion.
This is the wonderful part about the fast, the hike, and my trip her alone where the Donners tread so long ago. It resets my primal desires to to want to eat... to "need" to eat. Having hunted more than many occasions, there, is a tendency to be jaded. To be bestowed with too much deprives me of enjoyment. I write here in this diary, hungry as I ever was when I had my first taste so long ago.
On the walk back to the ranger station, I began to feel my muscles weary for the first time since the first days of the fast as I carried her with me. Her weight was not insignificant. Almost 150 pounds of quality well-marbled muscle, sinew, bone and organs. I feel, my hunt will yield me more flesh than the rest, to help keep me alive in my snow-trapped solitude. I will respect her sacrifice enough to not waste anything. She and I will finally spend our time together alone and completely uninterrupted at the heart of nature. Here I am, my true form revealed. I believed this was all she ever wanted of me, remarking of my times away from her, wondering where I go and how I used my time, longing for my return. The intimacy of the next few days will be... indescribable. If I could put it down into words, to be truly connected, in a complete and ultimate way... as predator and prey. As conqueror and the vanquished. As devourer and the consumed, we will be one. Her essence absorbed into me. Her body, mind and soul completely mine.
And for her sacrifice. I will value... and honor her in this way as my lone companion for the weeks to come.
-- story to be continued --
Let us take a break and a peek into the current and other projects while we go on this journey on these Last Days of Winter, for our unfortunate blonde quarry at least. First we have a preview sketch of the next Carte du Jour to have you licking your lips in anticipation for the meal to come.
The next is a work-in-progress of another scene of another ongoing project related to the ritual of the Lua Mater, the fight of who gets to live and who ends up on the table.